


walking alone

by orphan_account



Series: Sadurday [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24457195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Now that Peter's dead, Tony must walk alone.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Series: Sadurday [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757065
Kudos: 30





	walking alone

**Author's Note:**

> hey there friends how's it going? this one sad :< but i hope you like it anyway oof... someone needs to revive peter

Tony walks alone, he hasn’t a clue where he’s going or why. Maybe, he’s just running from his mind. Above him, the sky is a hazy gray, dampening his mood even more.

He stares hard at the sidewalk, pondering the few reasons he has left to live.

He knows that Peter would’ve wanted him to live, would’ve wanted the best for him. 

Peter would’ve brute-forced his way into the lab and force-fed Tony if it meant that the older man was being taken care of.

Peter was like that.

He didn’t know when to stop taking care of Tony and start taking care of himself. It’s why Tony’s alive and Peter isn’t. If Peter had just let Tony take the hit, things would be better off. Sure, Tony might’ve - definitely - would’ve died, but the world would be better off without Tony, anyway. 

Tony tries not to feel bitter about it. Peter had always been so stupidly selfless and - deep down - Tony always feared that Peter would die to save his life. 

There’s a painful feeling nestled deep within Tony’s aching heart. It’s cold and real and _raw_ and it’s burning him from the inside out. He struggles to breathe around the weight in his lungs.

Tony had loved Peter for years, but he was too afraid to admit it. He didn’t want to say how he felt, always in fear of what would happen, who would see, and what would change. Maybe, if he had been braver things would’ve turned out differently and it kills Tony to think that he’ll never know for sure.

Tony confessed his love only five months ago. He whispered it with his eyes closed, too afraid of what he might see if he opened them.

And, despite every reason to leave Tony, Peter stayed and whispered  _ I love you _ right back. 

If Tony could go back he’d open his eyes, even in the face of rejection, just to see Peter’s face one last time.

After that, things just came naturally to them; it was like they were always meant to be a couple. Their bodies came together like two pieces of a puzzle. And finally, Tony felt like he was home. 

Peter’s eyes shone like a thousand stars and his smile could rival the sun. His laughter filled the room like music. Everything about him was beautiful, from the way he spoke to the way he slept. His existence just seemed to brighten the lives of everyone around him.

The world was dark the day he died. It had been on a mission. He jumped in front of Tony and - before anyone could react - he was gone. The color was drained from his features, normally flushed and filled with life was a corpse empty and hollow.

Tony doesn’t try to stop his tears. He’s too broken to breathe, too even think about anything besides his lover’s precious face. He feels like he’s drowning under the weight of his grief, his lungs struggle to get air. His heart races in his chest with each new memory that arises. 

If Peter were alive, he’d hold Tony in a tight hug. He’d pet Tony’s hair and whisper sweet nothings into his ear until he was calm again. And even after Tony’s heart slowed and his worries eased out they’d stay like that for hours - basking in one another’s love.

The realization that he’ll never be held like that again hits Tony. That Peter’s really gone. That Peter won’t be at home when Tony returns and that Peter won’t be there when he wakes up. That every day - for the foreseeable future - Tony will be alone.

Peter will be nothing more than a memory that Tony will slowly lose bit by bit. The only remaining piece of Peter left behind within the videos and pictures he loved to take. Tony has them all, but he hasn’t dared to open any of them - in fear of what inner monster they might unleash. 

Tony sighs and closes his eyes as he walks alone. He hasn’t a clue where he’s going or why. The only thing he knows for sure is that he’s walking alone. 


End file.
